Self Love is Underrated

Author: Darsh

The pursuit of happiness never seems to end,

A broken heart that never seems to mend.

The road of sadness goes on and on,

Still waiting for a new dawn.

Stranded on the island of misery ,

With no boat to set me free,

From a poisonous life that I hate,

Along with coils of anxiety that suffocate.

Have you ever felt helpless? Have you ever been so disappointed with life that you give up the will to stay happy? Do you feel as if your life is like a dark tunnel, which you have been traversing for a long time, having no clue about where to go and still haven’t seen the light at the end? Then I’ll say that this quote is for you- “Happiness can be found in the darkest of times only if one remembers to turn on the light”, quoted by Albus Dumbledore. Although a fictional character, he is someone who teaches us a lot about life.

We have made this assumption that if we do not get what we want, we cannot stay happy. Happiness has become short lived in our life and we give in to emotions like frustration and disappointment. Maybe things don’t work out the way we had planned and they fall apart, but ask yourself this- ‘Is spending my energy on all these negative thoughts doing anything productive for me?’ If you’re plagued by this thought, you need to learn to love yourself more. You have lived your life as if you have been stranded on a remote island, with no means to communicate with the any life, but you need to save yourself before you succumb to negativity. Everyday will be a struggle if you make it your master, let it control your decisions and hinder your peace. You may not know this but if your subconscious mind creates a negative image of yourself, it can be quite devastating. You may want to excel but if your subconscious mind does not feel good about itself, you will fail over and over again. The subconscious mind is very powerful and whether you make it your ally or enemy is up to you. Whatever you believe in, it feeds on that belief. If you’ve been criticizing yourself and it hasn’t worked for you, it is time to be more approving about yourself and see if you can find happiness again. If you don’t respect yourself, even if the whole world believes in you, you’ll always fall short of your goals because that’s what your subconscious mind will keep on telling you.

There will come a time where you have to decide whether you want to live your life with all the negativity or in peace, where everyday will be like a stroll in a beautiful meadow. You have to learn to love yourself. In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that have shaped you. Every part of your life has been important, even though at the time it may have felt as though you have fallen into the depths of Tartarus. You simply have to accept everything, the good and the bad, and love yourself no matter what. It is definitely a big leap of faith and you may be scared to make the jump, but you need to do this unless you want to make yourself your own worst enemy.

The path to loving yourself starts with focusing solely on oneself. We often compare our worst scenarios with someone’s best, which makes us bitter and jealous and lowers our self confidence. Comparing yourself will only rob you of joy, fill you with regret of what you aren’t, even though you are doing well. If you keep comparing, there will be no end to it as there will always be someone better than you. Ask yourself this- ‘Is comparing yourself with others worth destroying your peace?’ You may one day win the comparison, which will make you happy, but you may lose too and that will dishearten you. Life is not about how you measure up to people; that holds absolutely no importance in your journey. It is about being the best version of yourself and focusing solely on your progress. When you realize this, you’ll understand how amazing you are and will start forgiving your failures.

You need to let go of your past failures, as there is absolutely no way you can change them, but you can change yourself and become the person who you always wanted to be. Start your day with saying something positive about yourself, make time for the things you love and stop seeking the approval of others. For example, if your friends are partaking in an activity that you don’t feel like being a part of, you are free to do that even though it displeases your friends. Life is not about pleasing others all the time. Follow what your intuition tells you, rather than making decisions with an egoistic approach. Someone once told me to stop seeking advice from others on everything I did. You may not know this but your greatest adviser is you. Only you know what you love, what your desires are and if you follow your intuition, it will always give you happiness. What matters is that you follow your passion, irrespective of what other people think. They won’t live a life full of regret. You will. So start trusting yourself more and live the life you love, without fearing what others think, otherwise you’ll spend each day cultivating hatred, bitterness and resentment towards yourself.

Never get disheartened with your failures; sometimes things take a long time before they fall in place, but they eventually do. No matter how small your progress maybe, you have to keep moving forward, doing what you love. One day you’ll get there and you’ll be thankful to yourself for not giving in to frustration.

There will be days where you live in despair,

There will be times when the world is unfair,

There will be endeavours that will be incomplete,

But you have to learn to regain your feet.

Love yourself no matter what,

Let go of any depressing thought.

Remember whenever you fall,Its a lesson so that you’ll learn to stand tall.


This blog page serves as a platform for the Editorial department of The Hindu Education Plus Club at VIT Vellore. We provide opportunities to budding authors across campus to hone their writing skills. We publish blogs four times a week, where writers can communicate their views on any topic of their choice with our readers.

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