Author: Vrushali
It was the beginning of December, and they hadn’t seen each other in person for more than nine months now. They missed each other’s touch that used to heal their pains and all the miseries. They craved to feel each other’s breath while his nose brushed past her cheeks. She yearned to gauge the depth of his eyes while he just wanted to caress her hair. Both of them longed for not more than a hug that would bring back all the memories of the beautiful past and wipe out the dull present. The past nine months had seen it all. The journey had the fair shares of her absence in his joys and his presence in all her cries. It was getting more challenging for them to wait more, each passing day, with guilt, regrets, resentments and disagreements, but they didn’t want it to end. He was ignorant and selfish, and she was sensitive and over-possessive, yet, they both knew that they wanted to be together. Every fight made them weaker but the anticipation to finally meet, and execute all the plans of how they would hug, kiss, smile- made them stronger. Every time they felt like giving up on the bond, those calls that though were never enough- made them stay and work harder. The distance of 500 miles tested every bit of their patience.
But this time, it was very different. There was a kind of numbness in the emotions. She became used to his uncaring attitude and paid no heed to him whatsoever. The weeks of not talking to each other did not bug her anymore. She was not angry or upset, just uninterested, and in no way she let him interject her space. For him, everything was falling apart, and all the dreams were getting shattered, for she was his first love. For her, everything came to an end, for he was her last. He called her every day, and she remained quiet. She listened to him, which he never did. He spoke everything, which she never did. She wanted to feel special and be heard as his mom did. She wanted him to drive her home and feature on his social media as his friends did. She thought he would fly to her place and surprise her. Maybe he could desperately text her in the middle of his day or go to the gym to get fitter or send her pictures randomly. He just wanted her to understand. The way they loved and showed love was different, and no one could understand the other. After his numerous failed attempts and the infinite chances she gave, he couldn’t put up with the stress anymore. But, in front of the struggle in the past nine months, everything seemed insufficient to her. They could neither reach any middle grounds nor heal their wounds. In the process, they also lost their friendship as they lost their grip on each other. And they finally put a full stop to the LDR of more than nine months and chose to break up.
It wasn’t long that the Christmas eve came, and with their shared playlist in the background, she scrolled through their old chats. A tear dropped down her eye as she glared at his profile picture with his new haircut. With her shaky hands, she opened the hidden folder of their happy photos together. A flashback of all of their memories and moments ran through her mind. The tears knew no bounds as they reminisced the past. Short of breath, she reluctantly opened his chat again and started typing. With sentences that didn’t make sense and numerous typos, reiterating the same memories, she poured her heart out. She was needy and had no courage to face this harsh reality. She couldn’t bear the pangs of their separation and had lost all her hopes. But the way it ended, it held her back. She deleted the whole long paragraph and restricted herself to just typing a single line. The clock ticked 12 and the ticks turned blue the moment she sent the message saying “All I want for Christmas…is you”.
