Powerlessness and other Things

by:Sneha

“I don’t know what to do……”

“What should I do?…”

Such sentences often come into our minds when we have something that pains us and we seem powerless against it. Powerlessness is most certainly a horrible feeling. When you see things happening right in front of you. Wishing you could change it so bad or at least make it a bit better than it is.

You wish and you wish so strongly with all your might to be able to make a difference only to realize that all your prayers and efforts don’t make a difference. It’s like you can see your own hope and faith slowly slipping out of your hands and instead of falling to the ground, you can feel it falling in an endless pit shrouded with nothing but despair. The frustration is nothing less than painful. It plays with your mind and makes you feel so tiny and useless, to say the least.

…

Sometimes, you keep all these struggles inside yourself, hoping time will be your knight in shining armor and save you from everything. We all know time is usually too slow. People say that time heals everything. In those times though, it sounds like a lie. Like you have to fight it all on your own and all by yourself. After what seems like endless fighting you standstill. You start to hope that if you stop reacting to it, it will just go away. You bear with it and keep bearing with it till you break and then the words become more frantic echoing in your mind muddling it further.

“I don’t know what to do!”

“What should I do!?”

Now that you have had enough. Everything starts to pour out. You start to cry. Whether it is your eyes or your mind or your soul or your heart it doesn’t matter. Some part of you starts to cry.

Maybe it’s just a cry to let everything go or maybe you are screaming with all your might.

Maybe you want someone to come to you and save you from all of it even though you aren’t saying it out loud.

…

At times like this…..

It is okay to not do anything.In fact you shouldn’t do anything if you have already tried and can’t.

Rest yourself a bit.

Take some time to yourself.

Unwind.

Rely on someone. It is perfectly fine to ask them to stay with you longer than usual. Have a mental breakdown if you feel the need. It is okay to leave whatever is bothering you to someone else. To ask them to sort it out for you. Be it the matter itself or your feelings. Sometimes, you need someone else more than anything and that is fine.

…

At times like this….

It is fine to wait to make your move.

To be afraid of what will happen.

To think or maybe overthink if you are an overthinker.

To be afraid of every move you make and do things at your own pace.

…

Once everything settles…..

It is okay to realise that it was something small and easily solvable.

It is okay to realise you could have handled stuff in a better way.

It is okay to realise that nothing could have been done all along.

It is okay to realise that you were entirely in the wrong or totally wronged.

It is okay to realise that you were only confused and that it made everything worse.

It’s okay….

…

Sometimes all you can do is feel powerless and then let time help you see the real picture and make you realise what it all was.

But once it all settles…

Don’t be bothered by it again.

Let it go.

Forgive yourself and anyone involved.

Thank the ones who stayed with you throughout.

Show gratitude to the ones that helped you get through it.

Once everything settles though…

I want you to know.

You did your best.

You did great.

You are still loved and as long as you try to set things right with sincerity.

Whatever happened and however things went down is not just your fault.

Whatever happened doesn’t mean you are any less than you were before and that you deserve all the happiness that comes your way after it.

Love yourself even after everything happens. It is very important.

Powerlessness will go and how you grow from it all depends on you.