Ascended Reality

by:Anshuman

It’s a privilege to be able to live, that much is true

I’m special just for being born into this world, who can argue

Yet I feel no gratitude inside my special body

Hating this world, may be too melodramatic but it has become a hobby

You can’t prevent me from feeling extremely bitter

Especially as I relate my entire existence to discarded litter

What a waste of energy it is to breathe in this society

So don’t blame me when I try to ascend this very own reality 

Where everything feels magical as I’m stuck in my self-made fantasy 

I can write my own story to create results that are so satisfactory

Every moment of this simulation feels real and so damn perfect

The people here are flawless and true, people with whom I have a connect

Maybe that’s why it hurts when I forget all of it is fake

Having unreal expectations from people who never matched them in the first place was perhaps, a mistake

I feel like I’m a success in this fake world as I do everything I dreamt of and more

Meanwhile in reality I’m just laying in my bed, dreaming while my body feels sore

Feeling low and depressed for no other reason but my delusional mind

Which has written everything so damn thoroughly the actual reality now feels so confined

Being out with friends where I’m supposed to be happy, joyful and most of all I should be grateful

Yet here I am zoning out trying to ascend once again to the world where I’m not hateful

Burdening myself with a lone wolf act as I push people away for no apparent reason

Never feeling I can connect permanently as my mind brings forth its grievance 

With the world around me being as it is and not how it should be in my authored story

The story where instead of being a bore I manage to grasp at glory

Realisation slowly crawls on me that this story isn’t a perfect world realised but rather an excuse

A simulation to hide in, one where I may be of some use

For even when there exists a person I can finally permanently connect with, find peace as I drop my disguise 

The over-dependence on a single source of happiness can oftentimes lead to its demise

The truth is that this ascended reality isn’t a haven but rather a prison

Where my doubts, fears, and insecurities haven’t been quenched but rather they’ve arisen

It’s time I face the truth and accept the cold hard fact

For as much as I pretend and hide, this is a concept that really isn’t that abstract

As in the dreams of an idealised flawless future that is better than my past

I’m sleeping on my present and letting my dark emotions everlast