I Fear Myself

By: Siddhaarth

Friday is seen as that one day in the week where the voes of the week collapse and the joys of the weekend brightens the evening air around while creating a truly unparalleled vibe. People use this time to party with their friends in noisy nightclubs, hang out with friends they haven’t met in the weeks gone by or maybe just take a breather in their homes. I assumed the 8th of July would be that sort of day for me (basically procrastinating on my couch while watching Netflix and vibing to that same Spotify playlist for the millionth time), but it turned out to be one of the scariest days of my entire life. 

My work for the week was all done and I headed straight out of my office into the wilderness that is known as the Bangalore weekend. The thought of reaching home early on a weekend is still a dream that I have not been able to achieve since the entire street was filled with people either rushing to nightclubs, to their friend’s houses to hang out and have fun or maybe other specimens like me who just wanted to procrastinate on a Friday evening. In the end, I was moving at a snail’s pace and I was stationary for at least half an hour on this chockablock street. 

But then, that is where all the nightmare moments start hitting my tiny little brain and it was hard to take. At 1845 hours, as the sun began to set into its final few gears and dwell on the horizon, my ears picked up whispers of a certain man with the baritone voice that, in most cases would be associated with a tall, hunky man who would be referred to as an alpha-male by some of the species in this wilderness. I would not register his looks or his face in my head though, since I could not lace my eyes on him, but what I did hear, was his baritone voice leaning onto my ear and whispering some words into them. It sent shivers down my spine and my brain did not know to process those words, I started sweating profusely and my heart decided to beat faster than a parent after seeing their kid fail a mathematics unit test in the sixth grade (definitely not personal). 

Anyways, I was panicking so hard that turned around and tried looking for this man everywhere, someone who would fit the stereotype that my brain had set for me to help in the identification process. But alas, the man was not to be found (or maybe he was found, but it did not fit the stereotype I am guessing), which sent me down a spiral of heartache and panic. This panic made me pop into the nearest police station to see if they could be of any help in this scenario. But even that attempt failed, when I went and explained the situation about this whisper in my ear but the officers in the station laughed it off in front of me assuming it was some sort of joke that I had uttered to amuse them during their chai samosa break and told me to go away. Dejected me did not know what to do and decided that the best thing was to go home, shut all the entry points and trap myself in there while trying to fall asleep. I am guessing every one of you might be wondering what was whispered in my ear. This hunky, baritone voice whispered in my ear, the following, “I am going to kill you, RUNNNN!!”. 

At this point, I ran back home with all the strength and stamina I had, eventually stopping at my gate to take a breather and then entering my home while making sure I lock all the gates, doors and windows in my house and close off all the curtains so no one sees me inside. I decided to pop into the kitchen, make myself an early dinner with the last Pepsi can lying in my fridge and told myself to sleep early. Maybe that was the best way to calm me down in this situation of panic. Dinner over, I go over to make my bed, wear my pyjamas on and pop into my well-made bed for some much-needed sleep. 

But sometimes, sleep can also turn into your worst enemy. It can make bad situations much worse and send you down a dark path that you cannot recover from, something that scars you for the rest of your life. I have never had such nightmares in my entire life, up until tonight when I imagined that a certain six-footer man in a stylish suit and tie will come up to me on the streets, tap me on the shoulder and start talking to me about death. But as the dream goes further on, the face of this man becomes clearer and eventually, I realize that it was none other than MEEEE. I was talking to myself about death. It was the trippiest thing that I had ever seen in my life. My other me proceeds to utter the same words that I had heard in the evening which were “I am going to kill you, RUNNNN!!” and proceeded to stab me in the abdomen twice in quick succession. I simply could not react fast enough to this and fell flat to the floor. That moment ended my “dream” life and my dream because I woke up with shock and disbelief in my eyes. I still went back to sleep and thankfully there weren’t any dreams or nightmares anymore, which I was happy about. But that is where the happiness ended for me because the events that occurred post this, were painful, to say the least. 

At about 0600 hours, my right eye opens itself to the word by the whisper of a man whose voice resembled that very baritone last evening. He whispers “Hi it’s me again, get ready to die!!” and proceeds to stab me in the abdomen twice in quick succession, which seemed eerily similar to my nightmare, not realizing it was the same face as the one I saw in the nightmare. But by the time I could react, I was lying flat on my bed with blood dripping onto the bedsheet and even on the floor. 

And to everyone reading this, I know where you are and you shall face the same fate as this weak specimen. You shall also be killed. But you cannot run away, because “I’M WATCHING YOU.”