Hunkering down with a lamp
I breathe in the book’s scent
Settling down to savor it in secrecy
Unbeknownst to any but the gentle breeze
That morphs into a wind
Turning still fields into raging seas.
Green pastures wink up at me
As I spot a weaver’s nest on a solitary walk.
Rain pelts down
The sun paints the sky red
As I enjoy a cake and the earthy scent.
Shadows creep up on the walls
Against a golden backdrop of light
As dinner’s held by candlelight,
While stories are told and images woven
Threads spun off imagination.
Sitting by the hearth
As tales are shared and songs sung
To be remembered in the morrow.
A calm morning with the sun in my face
A stormy night that harbings ghosts
Sleepy afternoons and silent nights
As voices echo in the dark
And into the light.
Faster and faster they spin
Melding together and yet not
All those memories I lived
All those mistakes I made
Naught but one came a-visiting
Nary friend, nary a cousin
But the clouds choke, the skies weep
And that’s enough for me…
For, I know not if I will live
To see a new dawn, a new day
As the world rises to greet a new year
I greet the darkness, this final rest.
Distraught and despairing
I turn and reach out for a friendly warmth
Hoping, Groping, in the vast abyss
When dark talons pry open my mind, my heart.
Slumped against a black wall of hopelessness
As agony floods the plains
Eyes on the horizon, squinting
For a beacon of light and warmth.
I see none.
Nobody left, nobody cares
As I drown in this sorrowful sea.
I turn around and lunge
A desperate bid to break free
In vain, in vain, in vain
Again and again and again.
Darkness envelops me
Dare I embrace it back?
Mayhap it will be a friend
Now i am numb, so numb
I cannot feel my heart
The world spins, the bells chime
With not a care for her death.
The pain thaws my frozen heart
My grief spurs my blood
For only in her memory
Does my dead heart beat and ache.
Oh! This ungodly physical pain
I can’t breathe, i can’t think
I hold on to the hurt and pain
For I know no other way.
Some wounds just don’t heal
Some are better off staying fresh
For “the soul is dead that slumbers”
And she wouldn’t ‘ve wanted that for mine.
I look into strange faces
But all I see is her
In every crowd, in every place
She just smiles and fades away.
I wake up everyday
To the truth that she’s gone
I break down again and again
I don’t know how to move on.